My Name is Hannah I am 23 years old, and Gay...I am a very quiet person, i just am thats who i am and i dont intend to change who i am to make someone happy.... i am who i am, like it or leave it... i love to write poetry.... I forgive, but i wont forget... Im an easy person to get along with... If you take the time & patience to get to know me you'll find that i am very caring and unique... You wont find anyone else like me, once you get to really know who I AM. I Love helping people in ANYWAY that i can... I have a extremely HUGE heart... Ive been told by many that i am a great listener a great friend to have and that i am very understanding & caring and unique.... I Love my friends, without them id fall forever.... and never land.....I LOVE TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, the more the better.....It is VERY attractive as well on girls :) i am a very hopeless romantic, i love cuddling, and holding my partner all the time, i am a Pisces so im emotional and sensitive, im really introverted. I keep to myself a lot, but if you get to know me, know me, that does change... simply in a relationship all i ask for is TRUST...thats its.. i want to be able to trust you.. i want Someone that will love me for me No questions asked Someone that'll treat me the way i should be treated.... TRUST, LOVE, and RESPECT.... But if you want to know more, im sure i would tell you and im sure i would like to know more about you too . Im tired of being single... i hate being alone, nothings worse. Im a quiet, introverted type of person. Im a pisces [and if you read about my sign, its me to a T]. Ive been through alot so far in my life, but if it wasnt for all the hard times, i wouldnt be as strong and level headed as i am today. Life is hard, and its easy, thats life and you have to accept that. I still live with my dad, i dont choose to but i have to, i dont have the money right now to afford my own place. Im very respectful and loyal. I love to listen to people and actually listen and give advice, if needed. I love ALL types of music, as long as the lyrics and the music makes me enjoy it then i will listen to it. I smoke cigarettes [currently trying to quit], and drink recreationally. I like to go out sometimes to clubs and bars [not every single weekend, but like twice a month i am not a partier anymore really] Im a shy person at first, but once you get to know me, i dont shut up. i have a decent sarcastic sense of humor. i would do ANYTHING for my friends and family. I want to have kids one day, but not until im like 26 or 27. As of right now my only child is my kitty, my MeMe, i love her like a daughter :) i have an obnoxious laugh, lol. I love to write and cook, they are my main favorite hobbies. I just want to meet someone that will love me for me not for my looks, because looks can fade away within a matter of seconds. ANYONE can lose weight/gain weight... get in a car accident and become paralyzed, so i dont base my relationships on looks, i base it on their heart and mind. [if only everyone was like that, right?] i dont ask for much in a relationship, all i ask for is your respect and your trust, whcih is the easiest thing in the world to do. I cannot stand people that are disrespectful in ANYWAY, its very un-attractive... and rude. i hate bad manners and liars. i have anxiety, and sometimes it can cripple me, but for the most part ive learned to control it, most of the times anyways.... i am a extremely patient woman, its sick how patient i can be lol... .... i just wanna be with someone that is like me... they say opposites attract, well i do not believe that at all., how could opposites attract, serioulsy. they would just fight all the time, and wouldnt agree on ANYTHING, ever... I dont know, i dont label myself, im just Hannah AKA Beezy... I DONT TAKE LIFE SERIOUS AT ALL, BECAUSE WE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE, MINE AS WELL MAKE THE MOST OF IT

 

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
— Ray Bradbury (Zen in the Art of Writing)

(Source: brainyquotes.com)

"We Die To Live & We Live To Die" - Hannah Canfield-

(Source: myspace.com)

55 Reasons Why…

WHY HAVING SOCIAL ANXIETY SUCKS

Read more: http://www.myspace.com/hannahbananaakab/blog#ixzz12YXI6G00

 55 Reasons why I Hate having Socaial Anxiety

1. I hate not being able to talk to my family

2. I hate not being able to hold a decent conversation with anyone.

3. I hate being scared to drive my friend home from a get together because I don’t know what to talk about in the car.

4. I hate that I never have a witty reply to the thousands of annoying comments I get a day.

5. I hate having awkward body movements

6. I hate sounding weird when I talk

7. I hate the dead silence after I kill a conversation

8. I hate my personality(Introvert)(ISTP)

9. I hate that I’m the only one that sucks in my family

10. I hate that I’m to scared to call my friends

11. I hate that all my conversations on the phone are awkward and I never know what to say

12. I hate that my siblings can talk to relatives on the phone and I can’t

13. I hate when people call me weird just because I’m quite

14. I hate that I never know what to say to anyone

15. I hate that I haven’t enjoyed one moment of my life since I was 5 years old.

16. I hate that I will never be normal

17. I hate that my whole life is forced

18. I hate that having fun with friends is work for me

19. I hate when friends constantly make sarcastic jokes about me

20. I hate going to work because I don’t know how to joke around with the other girls

21. I hate not being able to dance, catch the latest funny phrases, and use family guy quotes.

22. I hate not being able to audibly comprehend what people are saying, especially if there is even the smallest amount of background noise

23. I hate when one of my friends makes me feel so low when that happens

24. I hate not being able to talk to girls

25. I hate being boring

26. I hate being scared to say hi to my friend’s parents

27. I hate having a blank mind

28. I hate that you have no choice

29. I hate that there is nothing I can do, I will always be this way until I die

30. I hate that my kind of personality is just thrown into the world just to make it different; not to make it better

31. I hate the feeling that I am worthless to my parents and to the world

32. I hate that no one gets it that somethings are freaking genetic, and you can’t change that crap.

33. I hate that my personality, even though I could be jumping out of airplanes, shooting paintball guns, and flying around in jetbacks, makes everything seem boring.

34. I hate that everyone has something to say after a movie and I don’t

35. I hate when I just absolutely don’t feel like talking and it’s more painful then nails in my skull just to utter one word.

36. I hate that I’ve lost so many friends because I can’t talk to them

37. I hate that I don’t know how to handle myself and end up just looking like a dork

38. I hate when people think i am mad but im not its just hard to smile because im afraid they will judge me.

39. I hate that I suck at being social

40. I hate that most everything you do requires socializing

41. I hate feeling so awkward being alone with one of my parents or siblings because I don’t know what to say.

42. I hate that I get scared to be alone with someone and am relieved when someone else comes back so they can entertain the other person

43. I hate that I get good grades but feel dumb anyways

44. I hate being a social outcast, loser, suck-at-life bum, who just fails at everything.

44. I hate going to college because it is hard to focus and pay attention and study because i am worried about everyone else judging me

45. I hate that i REALLY know no one is truly judging me BUt my mind does not understand that

46. I hate that the fact is inside I wanna ba a social butterfly but i cant because i am caged

47. I hate that it is a chore just going to the gas station to pay for gas or buy some milk

48. I hate that the medication i’m on is not doing a god damn thing

49. I hate when people that don’t understand just tell you to go be social “practice makes perfect” :) [NO]

50. I hate not knowing if i will ever fall in love and that i will be alone forever because of this

51. I hate not being able to eat in front of ANYONE not even my dad or own family

52. I hate having to be completly drunk or have to use a drug just to feel like i can be social

53. I hate that i wear a mask and pretend

54. I hate that i cannot be who i am

55. I hate having social anxiety disorder.

Alright I’m done. Your turn?